1. Write your story either in an Ethical Will or Personal Legacy statement- even writing your own eulogy can help you to determine how you want to live your life right now.

2. Gather your families stories by interviewing aunts, uncles, parents, siblings, cousins. These stories can be compiled into print, video or audio for future generations to review the family history.

3. Create your story by doing the things that will leave memories about the legacy you want to leave.This can encompass philanthropic activities, caring for a neighbour’s child when the parent is ill, or volunteering at a homeless shelter. The possibilities are limitless.

Two interesting quotes from the website are:

Bill Clinton “The creation and maintaining of one’s own Legacy should consume your every waking hour.”
Robert Kennedy  “Few will have the greatness to bend history itself, but each one of us can work to change a small portion of events, and in the total of all those acts will be written the history of this generation.”

For more info go to www.legacysmile.blogspot.com
 

However, according to new reports, a NYC judge has quietly reduced the pooch’s $12 million trust fund to $2 million and signed off on a deal to pay the late billionaire’s two disinherited grandchildren $6 million amid allegations that Helmsley wasn’t mentally competent when she signed her will.

The trustees of Helmsley’s estate argued that Trouble doesn’t need the full $12 million she was left.

The judge gave them permission to place $10 million of the dog’s trust into Helmsley’s multibillion-dollar charitable foundation.

Trouble is currently living in Florida with the general manager of the Helmsley Sandcastle Hotel.

The Queen of Mean’s will had asked that either her brother or grandson care for the dog, but both passed cause the dog’s a notorious biter!

How much did THEY get in the will???

In an affidavit filed by Trouble’s care taker, he says $2 million is more than enough for the dog to live off of, “Two million dollars . . . would be enough money to pay for Trouble’s maintenance and welfare at the highest standards of care for more than 10 years, which is more that twice her reasonably anticipated life expectancy.”

The glorified dog sitter put her annual expenses at $190,000, which includes his $60,000 guardian fee, $100,000 for ’round-the-clock security, $8,000 for grooming, $3,000 for miscellaneous expenses, $1,200 for food and anywhere from $2,500 to $18,000 for medical care.

That pooch has it better than a lot of people we know!

You have cancer, and you’d best put your affairs in order.’

The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter was waiting. 

‘Well daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don’t go so well.  In this case, things aren’t well.  I have cancer.  Let’s head to the club and have a martini.’

After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less sombre.  There were some laughs and more martinis.

They were eventually approached by some of the woman’s old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating.

The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end.

‘I’ve been diagnosed with AIDS.’

The friends were aghast and gave the woman their condolences. 

After the friends left, the woman’s daughter leaned over and whispered, ‘Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer,
and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS.’

The woman said, ‘I don’t want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I’m gone.’

That’s …. ‘Putting Your Affairs In Order’.

Author Unknown

Myth # 5 Families Talk About Their Legacy Plans

Most elders ( 68%)thought it was important to talk to their children about their inheritance as well as their legacy. However, the study discovered that less than a third of elders and boomers have had a comprehensive discussion. The reasons for not talking include personal discomfort with talking about inheritance and death.  Some elder infantalize their children thinking their children would be upset or in denial about death. The boomers are concerned they would appear greedy if they brought up the subject. Family conflict was another barrier to discussing legacy and perhaps it was better to sweep things under the rug than raise issues that might cause problems.

Myth # 6 All Children are Equal

Equal distribution of inheritance is often seen as the best way to avoid conflict. Many elders and boomers expect the family inheritance will be distributed equally, but this is not the rule. Almost half of high net worth elders do not think that every child has the right to an equal share in their inheritance. Interesting to note this is twice the rate of thinking in lower net worth families. What prompts an unequal division is if the child provides care for the parents, or have a greater financial need. Many think the children deserve less if they cause conflict or disrespect the family.

 Parents will also turn to some children more than others for advice and input about their legacy plans. Two in five elder have an ” Alpha Child” defined as the child they turn to first.

Myth #2- Inheritance is the name of the game

Words like ” inheritance” and “estate planning” often met with resistance, anxiety and even fear. The researchers tried to identify what words resonated and connected with people and learned that the word “Legacy” inspired, motivated, and compelled most people. Legacy speaks to a living connection with future generations and is a language of hope and immortality. They identified the 4 Pillars of Legacy in order of importance as:

1. Values and life lessons to be passed on to others
2. Instructions and wishes to be fulfilled
3. Personal possesssions of emotional value
4. Financial assets or real estate

Myth # 3 - Money is the most important legacy

The myth that boomers are all about money and materialism dies hard and the reality is boomers are more likely to say their parents’ last wishes and possessions of emotional value are important to their family legacy. The elders are 4 times as likely as boomers to think they should focus on financial assets and real estate. This deep misunderstanding can have tragic results. Elders may be reluctant to broach important topics such as their last wishes, and focus only on their financial legacy. They may either ignore or even get rid of family heirlooms that may be cherished by their children!

Myth #4 - Money is the biggest source of conflict

Money as the results show are the least likely source of conflict during a legacy transfer. See below for survey results to the question, ” Which one of the following was the greatest source of conflict in the transfer of your parents’ inheritance and legacy”?

Fulfilling last wishes - 15%
Distribution of personal possession - 15%
Distribution of real estate - 11%
Choice of executor - 8%
Understanding choices - 6%
Distribution of finances - 3%

Two years ago the Allainz life insurance company conducted a survey to study the attitudes, hopes, worries, priorities and goals of both the elder generation and their heirs. Their key findings are presented in the” Seven Myths of the American Legacy”. These findings are also applicable I believe to Canadians.  In order not to make this post too long, I will write a couple of posts summarizing the survey results.

 Myth #1 - Today’s legacy is like any other generation’s

The magnitude of the transfer of money and property is completely unprecedented and will dwarf the amount of money transferred by previous generations.  The over 65 population was the poorest a few decades ago and is now one of the wealthiest as a result of stock market growth, house prices going through the roof and corporate pensions and government benefits. This allows the elder generation to maintain and even increase their wealth throughout their later years.

 Families as we all know are more complex, more varied and more dispersed than before. Yesterday I spoke with a gentleman with 4 children and they all lived in different provinces.  Because of the size of the boomer generation, today’s elders will have more children to deal with as they try to equitably divide up their inheritance. In addition, we have seen high divorce rates, remarriages, step children, step grandchildren as well as children from multiple marriages.  The growing family complexity makes inheritances more difficult to plan, communicate and execute. Elders with step children are less confident their legacy will be successfully transferred and are also less likely to feel they should initiate a conversation with their heirs. They are also twice as likely to think their heirs might accuse them of squandering their inheritance.

 Lots of food for thought eh?

 The stories you tell me are filled with so many difficult dilemmas and I wonder if it would be helpful to set up a chat line ( anonymous ) for people to present their situations and ask others for their thoughts and opinions.  I’d love to hear your thoughts on this idea.

 As well, I am being interviewed this Monday for Sounds Like Canada,( the Vicky Gabareau show) This means national coverage of my story and the legacy issues I am so passionate about.  I’ll post a note when I know the time of date my interview will be played!!