I had lunch today with an old friend who told me the story of how his mother avoided potential disaster within the family by her will.  The father died a few years ago, leaving his wife and 4 children.  One of the sons was estranged from the family after a fight that occurred with his sister just after his father’s funeral. His mother was very concerned about this man’s lack of responsibility with money and the poor relations with her and the other family members. She was revising her will and decided to set up a trust fund so this son would receive a monthly cheque, rather than a lump sum after her death. My friend asked his mother to consider the long term consequences of this decision as his brother would feel singled out and treated differently from his siblings. Her first response was to think a trust fund for all four children would avoid that problem, but my friend wisely pointed out this would seem very controlling. Why, he asked, would she want to set up a process to control after her death. Just be generous and let her adult children spend the money as they wished. This last point had an impact on her and she wisely decided to  leave equal amounts of money to each of her children and with no strings attached.  A story with a happy ending!!